Saturday's Sting in the Tail

Paraprosdokians - Winston Churchill loved them, they are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous. Enjoy the second in our series.

I didn't say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.

In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I usually put 'DOCTOR'.

You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.

(Our thanks to Nub News reader Geraint Pugh for this idea, and contribution)

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Today's Peninsula sunrise: 06:09

Today's Peninsula sunset: 17:58

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Peninsula tide times:

00:15 3.92m

06:14 0.28m

12:40 3.99m

18:15 0.65m

Take care on the Strand early afternoon

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Weather:

Heavy and blustery showers, but there will also be some sunny spells in-between. Windy with coastal gales likely and feeling chilly. Maximum Temperature 9C.

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Orwell Bridge:

Open

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Joke of the day:

A group of bats, hanging at the ceiling of a cave, discovers a single bat standing upright underneath on the floor of the cave.

Surprised by this unusual behavior, they ask this fellow: "What the heck are you doing down there?"

And the fellow shouts back: "Yoga!"

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Peninsula Recycling Centre[.B[

Saturday: 09.00am - noon

Wednesday: 09.00am - noon

Bank Holiday Mondays: 09.00am - noon

Due to the Recycling Centre being run by volunteers there may be times when the 'tip' may not be open. An example being extreme weather.

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Today's food shop openings:

Premier Stores Shotley:

Monday - Saturday: 08:00 - 19:00

Sunday: 09.00 -14.00

Premier Stores Wherstead:

1. 00 – 19.00

Orwell Stores, Chelmondiston:

Monday - Saturday: 08:00 - 17:00

Sunday: 08:00 - 13:00

Woody's Butchers: -

Tuesday - Friday: 09:00 - 17:30 (closed for lunch 13.00-13.45)

Saturday: 09:00 - 16:00

Sunday: Closed

Monday: Closed

Stutton Community Shop:

Monday - Friday: 09.00 - 15,00

Saturday: 09.00 - 12noon.

Sunday: 09.00 - 11.00

Hollingsworth's:

Monday - Friday: 8:00 - 17:30

Saturday: 8:00 - 17:00

Sunday: closed

Holbrook Co-op:

1. 00 -23.00

Brantham Co-op:

1. 00 – 23.00

Suffolk Food Hall:

1. 30 – 17.30

Please wear a cloth face covering, respect social distancing rules and treat shop staff with respect.

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Covid-19 rapid flow test centre:

Holbrook Village Hall:

Monday: 07.00 -13.30

Tuesday: 07.00 - 13.30

Wednesday: 07.00 - 13.30

Thursday: 12.30-19.00

Friday: 07.00-13.30

Appointments for tests can be made online: here. or by calling 0333 772 6144.

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Holbrook and Shotley surgeries and dispensaries.

Holbrook: 328263

Phone lines open between 08.00-18.30, the door is manned for prescription collection in Holbrook from 08.00-13.00 and 14.00-17.00 - Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, 08.00-12.30 on a Thursday and 08.00-13.00 and 14.00 - 18.00 on a Friday.

Shotley: 787435

Shotley door is closed but manned between 08.00-13.00 and 14.00-18.00 Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday and 08.00-12.30 on a Friday.

Any queries please can patients phone to speak to reception in first instance.

Good neighbours schemes are supporting patients to get prescription if they can't attend the surgery.

Call 111 for emergency medical matters.

Citizens Advice Bureau phone advice for patients at Shotley, Holbrook and East Bergholt surgeries

1. 00 - 15.00

Tuesdays: 07384429361

Wednesday: 07586741250

Thursday: 07379202164

Babergh's Home But Not Alone helpline: Freephone 0800 876 6926

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Live travel updates: Road and rail

Bus services:

97/98 timetable 92 timetable.

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Post Office Openings:

Shotley:

Monday to Saturday 09.00 – 13.00

Sunday: Closed

Holbrook:

Mon: 9:00 - 18:00 Closed for lunch 12:30-13:30

Tue: Closed

Wed: 10:00-14:00

Thu: Closed

Fri 9:00-17:30 Closed for lunch 12:30-13:30

Sat 10:00-12:30

Sun: Closed

Chelmondiston:

Mon - Sat: 08-00-17.30

Sun: Closed

Brantham (village hall): Closed

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