Saturday's Sting in the Tail

Paraprosdokians - Winston Churchill loved them, they are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous. Enjoy the second in our series.

If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

War does not determine who is right, only who is left.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

(Our thanks to Nub News reader Geraint Pugh for this idea, and contribution)

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Today's Peninsula sunrise: 06:27

Today's Peninsula sunset: 17:44

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Peninsula tide times:

04:22 3.68m

10:22 0.7m

17:00 3.35m

22:41 0.91m

All good on the Strand

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Weather:

Isolated fog clearing to leave a largely dry and sunny start, but cold. Patchy cloud will increase through the day allowing the odd light shower to develop. Maximum Temperature 7Cc, low of 2c.

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Orwell Bridge:

Open

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Joke of the day:

Why was the tomato blushing?

He saw the salad dressing.

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International Space Station

Sat Mar 06 4:44 AM, Visible: 4 min, Max Height: 72°, Appears: 54° above WSW, Disappears: 10° above ESE

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Peninsula Recycling Centre[.B[

Saturday: 09.00am - noon

Wednesday: 09.00am - noon

Bank Holiday Mondays: 09.00am - noon

Due to the Recycling Centre being run by volunteers there may be times when the 'tip' may not be open. An example being extreme weather.

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Today's food shop openings:

Premier Stores Shotley:

Monday - Saturday: 08:00 - 19:00

Sunday: 09.00 -14.00

Premier Stores Wherstead:

1. 00 – 19.00

Orwell Stores, Chelmondiston:

Monday - Saturday: 08:00 - 17:00

Sunday: 08:00 - 13:00

Woody's Butchers: -

Tuesday - Friday: 09:00 - 17:30 (closed for lunch 13.00-13.45)

Saturday: 09:00 - 16:00

Sunday: Closed

Monday: Closed

Stutton Community Shop:

Monday - Friday: 09.00 - 15,00

Saturday: 09.00 - 12noon.

Sunday: 09.00 - 11.00

Hollingsworth's:

Monday - Friday: 8:00 - 17:30

Saturday: 8:00 - 17:00

Sunday: closed

Holbrook Co-op:

1. 00 -23.00

Brantham Co-op:

1. 00 – 23.00

Suffolk Food Hall:

1. 30 – 17.30

Please wear a cloth face covering, respect social distancing rules and treat shop staff with respect.

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Covid-19 rapid flow test centre:

Holbrook Village Hall:

Monday: 07.00 -13.30

Tuesday: 07.00 - 13.30

Wednesday: 07.00 - 13.30

Thursday: 12.30-19.00

Friday: 07.00-13.30

Appointments for tests can be made online: here. or by calling 0333 772 6144.

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Holbrook and Shotley surgeries and dispensaries.

Holbrook: 328263

Phone lines open between 08.00-18.30, the door is manned for prescription collection in Holbrook from 08.00-13.00 and 14.00-17.00 - Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, 08.00-12.30 on a Thursday and 08.00-13.00 and 14.00 - 18.00 on a Friday.

Shotley: 787435

Shotley door is closed but manned between 08.00-13.00 and 14.00-18.00 Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday and 08.00-12.30 on a Friday.

Any queries please can patients phone to speak to reception in first instance.

Good neighbours schemes are supporting patients to get prescription if they can't attend the surgery.

Call 111 for emergency medical matters.

Citizens Advice Bureau phone advice for patients at Shotley, Holbrook and East Bergholt surgeries

1. 00 - 15.00

Tuesdays: 07384429361

Wednesday: 07586741250

Thursday: 07379202164

Babergh's Home But Not Alone helpline: Freephone 0800 876 6926

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Live travel updates: Road and rail

Bus services:

97/98 timetable 92 timetable.

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Post Office Openings:

Shotley:

Monday to Saturday 09.00 – 13.00

Sunday: Closed

Holbrook:

Mon: 9:00 - 18:00 Closed for lunch 12:30-13:30

Tue: Closed

Wed: 10:00-14:00

Thu: Closed

Fri 9:00-17:30 Closed for lunch 12:30-13:30

Sat 10:00-12:30

Sun: Closed

Chelmondiston:

Mon - Sat: 08-00-17.30

Sun: Closed

Brantham (village hall): Closed

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If you have any suggestions for inclusion please email [email protected] This also includes anyone who want to send us a photo to use, we are always happy to credit the picture with your name.