Covid Ode by Jan Beaumont.

I'm normally a social girl

I love to meet my mates

But lately with the virus here

We can't go out the gates

You see, we are the 'oldies' now

We need to stay inside

If they haven't seen us for a while

They'll think we've upped and died

They'll never know the things we did

Before we got this old

There wasn't any Facebook

So not everything was told

We may seem sweet old ladies

Who would never be uncouth

But we grew up in the 60s -

If you only knew the truth!

There was sex and drugs and rock 'n roll

The pill and miniskirts

We smoked, we drank, we partied

And were quite outrageous flirts

Then we settled down, got married

And turned into someone's mum,

Somebody's wife, then nana,

Who on earth did we become?

We didn't mind the change of pace

Because our lives were full

But to bury us before we're dead

Is like a red rag to a bull!

So here you find me stuck inside

For four weeks, maybe more

I finally found myself again

Then I had to close the door!

It didn't really bother me

I'd while away the hour

I'd bake for all the family

But I've got no flaming flour!

Now Netflix is just wonderful

I like a gutsy thriller

I'm swooning over Idris

Or some random sexy killer

At least I've got a stash of booze

For when I'm being idle

There's wine and whiskey, even gin

If I'm feeling suicidal!

So let's all drink to lockdown

To recovery and health

And hope this awful virus

Doesn't decimate our wealth

We'll all get through the crisis

And be back to join our mates

Just hoping I'm not far too wide

To fit through the flaming gates!

Nub News would like to acknowledge the original author is Jan Beaumont.

The ode has been wrongly attributed to Pam Ares who has confirmed this on social media.