Essential skills for supporting children through difficult family changes
By Nub News Reporter 27th Jan 2026
In the latest of our occasional features with partners UK Linkology. we look at the some of the details surround legal issues related to family matters.
FAMILY changes can be difficult for children to understand and process. When parents separate or divorce, children often feel confused, anxious and sometimes even responsible for what's happening. These feelings can affect their behaviour, school performance and overall wellbeing if not properly addressed.
Helping children through these challenging times requires specific abilities and awareness. Parents need to communicate clearly with their children while managing their own emotions. They must create safe spaces for children to express their feelings without fear of upsetting either parent. This delicate balance can be hard to maintain during stressful family transitions.
Communication Skills That Help Children Process Family Changes
When families go through major changes, clear communication becomes extremely important. Children need adults who can listen actively without judgment. This means giving them full attention, maintaining eye contact, and acknowledging their feelings. Simple responses like "I understand you feel sad" help children feel heard during confusing times.
Using age-appropriate language is vital when explaining family changes. Young children need simple, concrete explanations without complex details. Older children can handle more information but still need it delivered sensitively. Offering basic information first and waiting for questions allows children to guide the conversation at their own pace.
Identifying Non-verbal Communication Cues
Children often find it hard to put complicated emotions into words, especially when feeling overwhelmed or confused. In situations involving legal matters, consulting with family law solicitors in London can help parents learn how to explain legal processes to children in ways they can understand.
Parents should balance honesty with protection. Children need truthful explanations about changes but shouldn't be burdened with adult concerns like financial worries or relationship conflicts. When seeking professional guidance, parents can ask family law professionals about age-appropriate ways to discuss court decisions.
Instead of expressing feelings verbally, children may turn to behaviour to show distress. Young children might revert to earlier behaviours like bed-wetting or thumb-sucking. School-aged children might show sudden academic problems or withdrawal from friends. Teenagers might display increased aggression or risk-taking.
Maintaining Stability During Family Transitions
Consistent routines can provide security when family structures change. Having consistency in caregiver actions and routines helps children know what to expect. Children may benefit from predictable routines and schedules across different households. Familiar routines can provide a sense of security and help organise family activities.
When routines must differ between homes, explaining these differences clearly helps children adjust without feeling caught between conflicting expectations. Predictability through clear communication supports children as they adjust to changes, including through reminders such as visual schedules.
Maintaining relationships with extended family members can give children important continuity. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins may provide steady connections when immediate family relationships are changing.
School-Home Communication Strategies
School performance may be affected when families go through major transitions such as separation or divorce. Children can experience challenges with attendance and academic achievement during these times.
Helping at school starts with parents contacting the class teacher or school counsellor as soon as possible after changes occur. Clear, factual updates help staff understand potential behaviour or academic shifts while maintaining confidentiality.
Organising care between households often involves agreed systems for managing information. Some families arrange for a diary that travels with the child to record messages about appointments, school events or other important matters.
Emotional Regulation Techniques for Adults and Children
Adults should manage their own emotions effectively before helping children. It can be helpful to talk about your own emotions surrounding the change, especially if you become upset while talking about it. Describing what is happening for your child shows emotional awareness and helps them address their own feelings.
Careful attention to emotional displays at home matters. Children notice tone of voice, facial expressions and body language even if words suggest everything is fine. When arguments occur or stress peaks, honest but reassuring statements like "We are sorting things out, and you are safe" can help reduce anxiety.
Practical Emotional Regulation Activities
Younger children often respond best to straightforward calming activities. For infants, using a soothing voice to talk about what you are doing and what comes next can be helpful. Adding gentle movement may redirect excess energy and help organise intense feelings.
Older children can use guided relaxation exercises. Techniques such as progressive muscle relaxation encourage awareness of physical tension and its release. Using age-appropriate audio guides with calming narratives introduces structured methods for letting go of anxiety.
Building Support Networks for Children and Caregivers
Children can benefit from having trusted adults available during times of family change. Having at least one steady relationship with a supportive adult may provide security when other aspects of life feel uncertain.
Peer relationships can lower children's sense of isolation when family changes happen. Many secondary schools in England offer in-school peer support or group counselling, giving children experiencing family changes a place where they can talk openly with others in similar situations.
The right support can make a difference in how children cope with family changes. Children who receive consistent, age-appropriate explanations and reassurance may adjust more easily to new family arrangements. Developing these key skills helps parents guide their children through difficult periods and can support their emotional development.
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